Well big news in our household. Since we lost our wonderful pal Newton, it’s helped put things into perspective.
Such as, I’ve tied myself to a job that has an 8 hour round trip drive from the people I love most in the world. Why is this?
Another life lesson taken from my pal – surround yourself by those you love most in the world.
So I took the bull by the balls horns and applied for an internal position a 30 min drive away from all friends/family. The last month has been quite the process, applying, going through 3 rounds of interviews, plus a presentation. Oh, and don’t forget we’re still renovating from the FLOOD. Whoa
So I’ve decided to put a 45 day to-do list together for my life (I love lists!):
– Finish renovations
(Here’s how it’s looking so far! Bonus if you can see Stewart’s photobomb)
– Sell house
– Buy new house
– Train for new job
– Go on Honeymoon
– Get ready for maid of honor duties in sister’s wedding
Is this worth it? Hell YES! I’m getting pumped for the move, but am getting a little anxious with my “to-do” list.
Just wanted to give you a heads up that I may be a little distant from my blog for a bit. Love ya’ll, but as you can see I have my hands full. Can’t wait to share all the changes once we get settled! Here’s to hoping there will be puppy news to share on the next feed.
Let me start by apologizing that I’ve been a little lot lax in my writing over the past two – three weeks. I hit a speed bump in my healing process.
It hit me like a ton of bricks one day. I was walking home from work (something I hadn’t done in some time), and realized that the last time I walked this path was with Newton.
I couldn’t help myself, I found the nearest bench and had a “moment”. As much as I wish, it was not the kind where your makeup stays immaculate and your polish still shines. It was the kind of moment that makes you want to curl up in your favorite jammies and hide from the world with the curtains drawn – yep it was an ugly cry.
I felt like I had lost my best friend all over again. Experiencing all these “firsts” without him is heartbreaking. All these moments can be heartwrenching. Almost like constant reminders telling you what you no longer have.
I’m writing you this because some of you are going through what I am as well. After taking some time to think about it, it’s unfortunately part of the process of moving through the guilt, never forgetting – but functioning and enjoying the life we are fortunate to have. I realize I’ve made an effort to stay positive and upbeat – offer solutions to your own healing processes. Sometimes, however, you just need to take a moment, feel the pain and then try and patch yourself back together and carry on. Remind yourself only of the wonderful times spent together.
There is a feeling of guilt that I believe is natural – moving on without your companion. This is where my “Newton principles” kick in and remind me of what life is all about – Love, peace and joy. Stop and be thankful for what we have, enjoy the little things in life.
I’ve surrendered to the process of moving forward, understanding that there will be moments like this – lots in fact. It feels at times like it is a step backward, but grief does not have a time limit. My words of advice – it’s ok to get lost in the moment, just don’t lose yourself in the process.
Give all your pets an extra snuggle from me today!